Drunk Princess

The Drunk Princess is an NPC vendor that sells Alcohol depending on the player's progression, she also has the unique ability to count the number of times the player has died in the world.

The Drunk Princess will spawn once the following conditions have been met:


 * There is an empty house.
 * A player in the world has Fabsol's Vodka in their inventory.
 * The world is in Hardmode.

When threatened by enemies, she will defend herself with a ray of light that functions similarly to the Fabstaff.

Names

 * The Drunk Princess will always be named Cirrus.

Quotes
While homeless:
 * "I could smell my vodka from MILES away!"
 * "Have any spare rooms available? Preferably candle-lit with a hefty supply of booze."

Anytime:
 * "Drink something that turns you into a magical flying unicorn so you can be super gay."
 * "Did anyone ever tell you that large assets cause back pain? Well, they were right."
 * "Hey [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor], [name of Patreon donor] and [name of Patreon donor]! You're all pretty good! ...wait, who are you again?"

During the Day:
 * "Like I always say, when you're drunk you can tolerate annoying people a lot more easily..."
 * "I'm literally balls drunk off my sass right now."
 * "I'm either laughing because I'm drunk or because I've lost my mind. Probably both."
 * "When I'm drunk I'm way happier...at least until the talking worms start to appear."
 * "I should reprogram the whole game while drunk and send it back to the testers."
 * "What a great day, might just drink so much that I get poisoned again."

During the Night:
 * "A perfect night...for alcohol! First drinks are on me!"
 * "Here's a challenge...take a drink whenever you get hit. Oh wait, you'd die."
 * "Well I was planning to light some candles in order to relax...ah well, time to code while drunk."
 * "Yes, everyone knows the mechworm is buggy. Well, not so much anymore, but still."
 * "That's west, [Name of Player]. You're fired again."
 * "Are you sure you're 21? ...alright, fine, but don't tell anyone I sold you this."

During a Blood Moon:
 * "Hey, nice night! I'm gonna make some Bloody Marys, celery included. Want one?"
 * "More blood for the blood gods!"
 * "Everyone else is so rude tonight. If they don't get over it soon, I'll break down their doors and make them!"
 * "Being drunk, I have no moral compass atm." (Damages the player for half their health)

During a Party:
 * "You'll always find me at parties where booze is involved...well, you'll always find booze where I'm involved."

During the Acid Rain:
 * "There's chemicals in the water...and they're turning the frogs gay!"

During Martian Madness:
 * "Shoot down the space invaders! Sexy time will be postponed if we are invaded by UFOs!"

During the Boss Rush:
 * "Why are you talking to me right now? Either way, I expect you to turn in a perfect performance!"

If any boss is active:
 * "Nothard/10, if I fight bosses I wanna feel like screaming 'OH YES DADDY!' while I die repeatedly."

If Cryogen has been defeated:
 * "God I can't wait to beat on some ice again!"

If Leviathan has been defeated:
 * "The only things I'm attracted to are fish women, women, men who look like women and that's it."

If Polterghast has been defeated:
 * "I saw a ghost down by the old train tracks once, flailing wildly at the lily pads, those were the days."

If The Devourer of Gods has been defeated:
 * "I hear it's amazing when the famous purple-stuffed worm out in flap-jaw space, with the tuning fork, does a raw blink on Hara-kiri rock. I need scissors! 61!"

If Tavernkeep is present:
 * "Tell [Name of Tavernkeep] to stop calling me. He’s not wanted."
 * "My booze will always be better than [Name of Tavernkeep]'s, and nobody can convince me otherwise."

If Stylist is present:
 * "You still can't stop me from trying to move in with [Name of Stylist]."
 * "I love it when [Name of Stylist]'s hands get sticky from all that...wax."
 * "[Name of Stylist] works wonders for my hair...among other things."
 * "Ever since [Name of Stylist] moved in I haven't been drinking as much...it's a weird feeling."

If Dryad is present:
 * "[Name of Dryad] is cool too but she'd outlive me."

If Archmage is present:
 * "I never realized how well-endowed [Name of Archmage] was. It had to be the largest icicle I had ever seen."

If Moon Lord has been defeated:
 * "I'll always be watching."
 * "Why did that weird monster need that many tentacles? ...actually, don't answer that."

If the player has the Fab debuff:
 * "Oh yeah, now you're drinking the good stuff! Do you like it? I created the recipe by mixing fairy dust, crystals and other magical crap."

If the player is riding the Alicorn mount:
 * "So...you're riding me, huh? That's not weird at all."
 * "Are you coming on to me?"
 * "If I was a magical horse, I'd be out in space, swirling cocktails, as I watch space worms battle for my enjoyment."

If the player has the Chibii Devourer equipped:
 * "Is that a toy? Looks like something I'd carry around if I was 5 years old."

If the player has the Aquatic Heart equipped:
 * "Nice...scales...did it get hot in here?"

When selecting Death Count:
 * "You have failed [Number of Deaths] time(s)."

Trivia

 * The Drunk Princess is a self-insertion of the owner of the mod, also known as Cirrus, Fabsol or MountainDrew, who has been known to get drunk a lot on several occasions.
 * The Drunk Princess has only one possible name, sharing this trait with Santa Claus, the Sea King, and the Archmage.
 * The quote about reprogramming the whole game while drunk is a fourth-wall-breaking quote, implying the creator of the mod getting drunk and sending a broken mod to the beta testers of the mod.
 * The quote about the buggy mechworm is a reference to the bugs caused by Staff of the Mechworm being frequently reported by the community.
 * Dying from the no moral compass quote will result in the death message being " was slapped too hard".
 * The quote about blood for the blood gods is a reference to the game Warhammer 40,000.
 * The quote about chemicals in the water is a reference to the American radio show host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones.
 * The quote about it being west and the player getting fired is a reference to Spongebob Squarepants.
 * The quote about the Hara-kiri rock and scissors as well as space invaders reference to the lines spoken by the Colonel in Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty.
 * The Drunk Princess is most likely a lesbian, as evidenced by her attraction to the Stylist, the player if wearing an Aquatic Heart, and her post-Leviathan quote; or bisexual, considering her implied sexual encounter with the Archmage.
 * The "Talking Worms" quote is a reference to The Devourer of Gods, as during the boss fight, it repeatedly talks to the player.
 * In the mod's source files, the Drunk Princess is referred to as 'FAP'.
 * In one of her quotes, the Drunk Princess says the names of several people who have donated a certain amount to the Calamity Mod on Patreon, randomly selected. The list of all possible names are as follows:

Vorbis, SoloMael, Chaotic Reks, The Buildmonger, YuH, Littlepiggy, LompL, Lilith Saintclaire, Ben Shapiro, Frederik Henschel, Faye, Gibb50, Braden Hajer, Hannes Holmlund, profoundmango69, Jack M Sargent, Hans Volter, Krankwagon, MishiroUsui, pixlgray, Arkhine, Lodude, DevAesthetic, Mister Winchester, Zacky, Veine, Javyz, Shifter, Crysthamyr, Elfinlocks, Ein, 2Larry2, Jenonen, Dodu, Arti, Tervastator, Luis Arguello, Alexander Davis, BakaQing, Laura Coonrod, Xaphlactus, MajinBagel, Bendy, Rando Calrissian, Tails the Fox 92, Bread, Minty Candy, Preston Card, MovingTarget_086, Shiro, Chip, Taylor Riverpaw, ShotgunAngel, Sandblast, ThomasThePencil, Aero (Aero#4599), GlitchOut, Daawnz, CrabBar, Yatagarasu, Jarod Isaac Gordon, Zombieh, MingWhy, Random Weeb, Ahmed Fahad Zamel Al Sharif, Eragon3942, TheBlackHand, william, Samuel Foreman, Christopher Pham, DemoN K!ng, Malik Ciaramella, Ryan Baker-Ortiz, Aleksanders Denisovs, TheSilverGhost, Lucazii, Shay, Prism, BobIsNotMyRealName, Guwahavel, Azura, Joshua Miranda, Doveda, William Chang, Arche, DevilSunrise, Yanmei, Chaos, Ryan Tucker, Fish Repairs, Melvin Brouwers, Vroomy Has -3000 IQ, The Goliath, DaPyRo, Termi, Circuit-Jay, Commmander Frostbite, cytokat, Cameron Fowlks, Orudeon, BumbleDoge, John Ballard, Naglfar, Helixas, Vetus Dea, High Charity, Devonte Plati, Cerberus, Brendan Kendall, Victor Pittman, KAT-G307, Tombarry Expresserino, Drip Veezy, Glaid, Apotheosis, Bladesaber, Devon Leigh, Ruthoranium, cocodezi_, Mendzey, GameRDheAsianSandwich, Tobias, Streakist ., Eisaya A Cook, Xenocrona, RKMoon